I have seen many couples in therapy where the number one concern is differing sex drives. Interestingly, I have not seen a difference in gender regarding who has the higher sex drive and who has the lower sex drive. There are so many factors that come into play with libido. There is good news - there are ways you and your partner can work together to get on the same page - or at least closer pages.

The following tips apply if you are the partner with a higher sex drive, or if you are the partner with a lower sex drive.

1. Get a checkup.
As men age, testosterone levels drop. This can lead to a decrease in sex drive. Hypothyroidism, or an underachieve thyroid, can lead to a decrease of libido as well.

Luckily, both of these issues can be diagnosed, in part, through a simple blood test, and medication is available.

Know your family's medical history. Many health issues are genetic, so the more information you have, the more your doctor can help you out. Get information on your "first-degree" relatives: parents and siblings; "second-degree" relatives: grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Find out about any history of medical conditions, and what treatments helped these conditions. If you know what treatments helped your family members, there is a good chance that those treatments may help you as well.

If you are adopted and don't know your family history, that is perfectly okay. There are several ways you can go about finding more information.

2. Get enough rest.
Yes, you may be sleeping, but is it quality sleep? In the case of sleep apnea, you are not reaching deep levels of sleep. Your body is not fully waking up, but it is not getting restorative sleep either.
If you don't wake up feeling restored or refreshed, consider getting a sleep study. A sleep study helps determine if you are having sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, and more. See your general doctor for a referral to a sleep lab.
Other tips for improving sleep:
Shut off electronics an hour before bed. Back-lit devices have been found to inhibit melatonin release (Wood, et al. 2013). Melatonin is a hormone that helps get our brains ready for sleep.
Have a completely dark room.
Keep consistent sleep and wake times.
Use the bed only for sleeping and sex.
Use background sound to block out noise.

3. Improve your weight and get exercising.
If you have gained weight recently, it can change hormone levels. This in turn can change sex drive. Weight gain can also change the way you feel about your body - and that can lead to a decrease in sex drive.

Consider consulting with a registered dietitian about healthy eating habits. If you are eating healthy but are still gaining weight, consult your doctor. As you read in #1, hypothyroidism can cause weight gain. It's worth getting it checked out.

Exercise is key to a healthy lifestyle. I have worked with couples that found that regular exercise not only increased their libido, but also made them feel more confident in their body image. This, in turn, led to an increased sex drive.

4. Talk about it.
Over time, resentments can build in a relationship - particularly when there is not open communication. When two people feel they can speak freely, resentments tend to work themselves out. If you feel you need additional assistance in talking openly.

5. See a couples' therapist.
If communicating about your needs is difficult, you are not alone. Many people have difficulty voicing their concerns. Sometimes it may be difficult for you to truly know what your needs are. A couples' therapist can help you and your partner communicate more effectively, especially with emotion-laden issues like sex.

6. See a certified/licensed sex therapist.
Certified sex therapists have completed additional training, past that required for their professional license.